Where do Parents-abandoned-by-children-at-hospitals go to?

Where do Parents-abandoned-by-children-at-hospitals go to?

This is my experience. (28 November, 2011)

Sometime last week, my wife's friend asked if we want to do something good for some residents of a Nursing home situated in Jalan Kerayong {known as the old airport road}, on the fringe of the Chinese cementery, and close to the Kwang Tung burial grounds. We agreed to buy some essential stuff and also cook a large pot of chicken curry for the old folks there. I was further told that these residents are mainly those old folks who have been abandoned by their children or relatives in hospitals, on the pretext of admitting them for treatment, and while they were there, the children or relatives would vanish, often changing their phone numbers and contact details.

Our group was headed by the Chairman of the Malaysian Buddhist Cooperative Society, (Saying Goodbye with a Smile) Brother Aw, and as we were heading towards this 'home', I felt that I could now hope that the 'horror' stories that I have heard from my friends of children abandoning parents in hospitals would somehow have a happy ending.

The Nursing home is one floor above the Tong Sin Funeral Services, and is owned by a big hearted Mr Chong. We unloaded our 'goodies' and brought the food upstairs, hoping that the residents would be able to have a good meal, for today, at least.

The place is like a big dormitory, and houses about 30 old folks, mainly male and Chinese except

an Indian and a Chinese female. Most of them are frail and sick, and quite a few are bedridden. Those who are critically ill are placed towards the end of the dormitory, where presumably it's easier to care and to clean them.

The home is run entirely on donations, and the owner of the place is kind enough to allow the old abandoned and sick folks to stay until they pass away, and he provides the basic coffin and funeral services to each of the deceased.

Because the home is supported through donations from the public in the form of food and essential stuff, and also from “Casket Funds” that some caring donors like to provide, the cleaning and caring of the residents are also done on a voluntary basis. Various charity groups like the Rotary Clubs and the Buddhist Youth groups organise regular cleaning of the home, which can be in quite a bad condition and filthy, as sanitation services are not done on a daily basis. The healthy and mobile residents sometimes do their little bit to help the bedridden ones, feeding and cleaning them, but that can amount to almost nothing. I was told that the stench can sometimes be overpowering, and until the clean up by the charity groups on Sundays and Public Holidays, the plight of the residents can be miserable.

I took a look at the larder, and saw that they mostly have canned brace and nothing much else. When my wife asked one or the residents what he was cooking for lunch, the guy who was able bodied and 'doubled' as cook, said he didn't know, but most probably be porridge and what canned stuff that was available. That seems to be the staple diet of the poor guys there.

Caring for these 'sidelined' elderlies is despairingly minimal, and except for the efforts of religious organisations like the MBCS and Rotary Clubs, etc, who can only offer a glimmer of hope and relief, the only positive thing I can see for them, is they have a roof over their heads.

The visit left the newcomers like me in a sombre mood, and left us to wonder if any parent or relative should suffer such fate as to be abandoned in hospitals, and it has to be left to the mercy and generosity of strangers to uplift and help them, and though it's an uphill task, we should carry on.

We next proceeded to Jalan Ayer Puteh in Setapak, to visit more of such abandoned old folks, who are being taken in by a Buhddhist temple and cared of, until their last days on Earth. A Chinese monk, (Sifu) was in charge, there were about 10 residents in the home, next to the temple. These residents are also old folks who are left abandoned in hospitals, but in these cases, they have NO children to care for them. Fulfilling this criteria, the temple took them in and will care for them until they pass away. These residents are well taken care of, there is a cook to prepare 4 meals a day for them, and there are assistants who clean the place every day. The sick are taken to hospital in an ambulance, and there is a doctor visitng every Sunday. In this home, the residents look very healthy, well fed, and on the face of it, happy.

The temple supports these old folks also from donations by the public, but what a difference this home is, compared to the first one. And to me, there is some bitter irony here. Those elderlies that have been abandoned at hospitals, seem to fare better when they have no children, but maybe it's not easy to judge on these two visits alone.

There is a lot of charity that is required to be done in this country, and those of us who are blessed with good families, good health, and filial children, should nevertheless not forget to help those whose fates have not been so kind. It maybe their Karma, but it's in our Karma to help as much as we can.

Brother Aw of MBCS intends to pay regular visits to the Home, and anyone who wants to help can contact me or him at 012 6310719